Church Behavior-To use childcare or not

When Olivia was younger we we were careful to arrive at mass a little early each Sunday so that we could be sure and get "good seats". Seats appropriate for a young couple with a young child. We were sure to sit in at the end of a row, preferably close to the cry room so that we could easily get up and leave if Olivia started fussing. This past Sunday, I found myself kneeling after Communion, discreetly trying to pick up bright orange goldfish from all over the floor. We have become one of those obnoxious families. Our child brings a bag full of toys and snacks to church, she crawls all over the pew and kneelers, the list goes on. When it was just Mike, Olivia, and I it didn't seem to be such a big deal. Between the two of us we could keep her entertained and still pay attention and actively participate in mass. Somehow that's not the case anymore.

Each Sunday as we walk into church we see the sign advertising childcare down the hall and I'm torn. Part of me really appreciates that we go to church together as a family. How will Olivia learn to behave in mass if she doesn't ever attend mass. But then at the same time I am embarrassed that I have to pick up goldfish from all over the floor. Mike and I aren't able to devote all our attention to what is going on in mass because we're taking turns trying to keep Olivia occupied. There isn't a cry room in the church we attend now so that's not an option. So we struggle, to use child care or not to use child care........