Emotional Upload

I've been so emotional the last couple of days. I hope that today's post will give me a chance to unload a bit.

Peter has reached that sweet spot where everything starts to click together in his little head. All of a sudden he seems like such a big boy. He is so coordinated. He is gaining new skills overnight. He's still not talking much but he is making more animal noises. I'm happy for him. However watching him make these developmental milestones is heart wrenching. I had heard from doctors/therapists/other parents that one day there would come a point in time where kids just start putting everything together. That moment never came with Olivia, but we're living in it right now with Peter. I'm watching Olivia struggle to regain the same skills that Peter is just magically able to do. It's painful.

Olivia seems to be feeling a lot better physically but I have no idea where she is cognitively. Now that she's moving around and feeling better she's spending more time wondering around getting into stuff. I'm noticing how short her attention span is. She's not playing with her toys appropriately anymore. She really seemed to be able to focus on an activity more when she wasn't feeling well. In the hospital she loved to color, paint, and do puzzles and she hasn't been interested in any of that stuff for months. Over the last week she has become obsessed with chewing things. Often kids with Sanfilippo syndrome have a compulsive need to chew. Up until this point we hadn't really noticed that with Olivia but this last week has been awful. She's putting everything in her mouth, and if she can't find something else to put in her mouth she will stick a finger or two in her mouth. It's awful. She has moments of brilliance followed by moments that are not so brilliant.

Of course Peter's going through his intellectual growth spurt as Olivia is having a rough week. I had a great conversation with Olivia's occupational therapist today. She noticed the difference in Olivia's chewing right away and asked about it. At the end of Olivia's therapy session we had a conversation about how God has a plan for each child. We were both in tears but it was a good conversation. I don't know what God's plan is for Olivia but it is comforting to know that one exists.

It was a really long day here, one of many over the last week. I need to find a babysitter that can provide some respite care but I've not been able to find one yet. I've tried care.com and sittercity, I'd love any suggestions!

At least the day ended well. Mike and I were talking in the kitchen when Olivia walked between us and said "poo poo" and then proceeded to pull down her pants and pop a squat on the floor right between us. Mike jumped quickly into action and she got to the potty in time to make a successful deposit. I know this might not normally be cause for celebration but I'm so glad that she is able to get her pants and pull-up off by herself now, not to mention the verbalization of her need to potty.